Oh, hey there! I see you noticing me, noticing you. Yea, I just woke up today and decided to put on my favorite jailbreak swimsuit. After so many of my friends' stunts in rehab and jail, I thought it would be a good upcoming trend in the fashion beachy world. In all honesty, I found this in the backyard of my neighbor Bob's dumpster bin. I like to pair this homeless looking outfit with my thousand dollar Chanel sandals, because in order to fit in with all other jail prison mates, you have to wear a lot of bling. It also camouflages well with all this foliage and greenery surrounding me. Sometimes I get lost and forget that I'm a human and not a zebra.
Oh, yea and meet my brother Rob, he is what some people refer to as a "bro." If you are interested in copping his style, here is a short lesson for you.
Four steps to become a bro:
1.) Wear a Hanes 5-in-a-pack white tee. This is pretty much the standard uniform for all bros.
2.) Neon colored kicks are a must. Some like Nike, some like Adidas, but the indie labels that no one has ever heard of are always the best. Looks especially great when worn on a scorching hot day and going to the beach.
3.) Absolutely MUST wear a douchebag cap. And even more, it absolutely HAS to be turned around.
4.) Lastly, can't forget the bling around my neck to represent all my friends stuck in prison for selling too much crack and drunk driving. Shout out to my homies repping the 323!
Yea, well I guess that's about it. I'll just turn around and pretend that I didn't tip off the paparazzi earlier that I was coming here...
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