Lady GaGa Ridiculous Lace-Up Boots, and Hat, and Make-Up, and Pants (or lack thereof)

With the explosion of Lady GaGa's new found fame, you would think that she would be able to afford some decent pants by now, but this does not seem to be the case. In fact, her new status as Pop Princess, has only made her seem to dislike pants even more. I know she is an artist and likes to "experiment" with fashion, but sometimes enough is enough, and the line between ridiculousness and insane-asylum gets blurred. Lady GaGa falls in the latter. She can't come to terms with putting on more clothes than her underwear. It seems as if she woke up one morning and decided that she wasn't going to put on anymore pants for the rest of her life. Perhaps she got too lazy? Maybe she rolled out of bed and was in horror of all the clothes that she would have to put on and so she decided that the only thing she was going to wear were the undies she already had on. For going out late at night though, she was able to get her lady-in-waiting to lace up all the trillions of holes in her boots for her. I don't know if her boots were supposed to be replace her pants, and hopefully keep her warm in the cold rainy weather, but something tells me that this is a fail.

I haven't even begun to scratch the surface of the top half of her outfit, but the combination of stripper bra, blazer leotard and obi kimono belt, does not neccessarily cry out human decency. Wearing her oversized sunglasses at night has somewhat become her signature, so I will let that one slide, but the black lipstick in the traditional Japanese dot-on-the-lips way does not do her anymore favors. Looks like she is about to fall and maybe her hat will fall off too, which would actually improve her outfit.

Lindsay Lohan's Leggings

Well here she is, Miss Legging Sunshine in all her glory. I have talked about Lindsay Lohan and her love of leggings previously, but now here is some real photographic evidence displaying just how far she goes with these things. I think that she is the only person on earth who is perfectly fine where leggings as pants. The rest of the 6-10 Billion people on earth either wear pants or leggings with skirts or dresses. Apparently she has no problem displaying her assets in such tight spandex, which does do much for her reputation as it is. Perhaps she is the poster child of the 80's and wants to revisit her Dirty Dancing days. She just needs some more neon, a headband and more hairspray.

Katie Holmes Legging under Denim Shorts/Capri

While the top half of Katie's outfit looks alright for a casual day out, the bottom half screams attention and catastrophe. First of all, the length of the denim are completely wrong. It seems like it can't quite decide whether it wants to be shorts or capris. Therefore, it cleverly disguises itself as shorts, since it is rolled at the cuff, but knows deep down inside of it's capri roots. If you unroll the hem, you will probably find that it is one of Katie's old ragged boyfriend jeans cut up to make nice for the coming summertime. While all of this seems fair and decent, she unreasonably decides that black leggings would look good under these things. Please make up your mind. Either you are cold and want to wear longer length of jeans, or you are hot and you want your denim to be short. This decision should involve no kind of tight black spandex at all, unless you are taking lessons from Lindsay Lohan's new legging line coming out. Or perhaps the Scientologists put you up to this...

Jessica Simpson Orange Beachy Dress

It is a common trend for celebrities to dress up in their finest attire and dine in at some overly-priced celebrity based restaurant. Take this instance with Jessica Simpson on a dinner date with her boyfriend, quarterback Tony Romo of the Dallas Cowboys:

Dragged out the hunky football player boyfriend. Check!
At Eva Longoria's expensive Mexican cuisine restaurant, Beso. Check!
Fine attire for the night out. Fail.

When you're going out to one of these commonly photographed and paparazzi filled places, it is common knowledge that you want to look your best since you will probably have a photograph of you taken, which will be shown world wide over the internet. Jessica Simpson seems to have forgotten that. It also seems that she has forgotten that she is going out to eat, not going to the beach. I don't know what it is that perplexes her into thinking that oversized floral Hawaiian print mu mu dresses are okay to wear beyond the sun and the sand. The bright orange hue screams attention, however, the expression on her face suggests otherwise. And as if you hadn't quite noticed this ostentatious color, she pairs it with her bright orange lipstick, just in case you forgot that she needs your attention.

Boyfriend Tony puts on his best face, and dresses completely scrub-like, in an extremely casual tee, jeans and sneakers ensemble. I guess outlandish orange costume + homeless person wear = the perfect balance of extremes.

Lauren Conrad Witch Hair and TuTu Dress

I'm not sure exactly what bothers me more- this disaster foo-foo of a dress, or her long witch hair extensions. In theory, this dress sounds quite nice, maybe even fantasy-like, due to the layered petal skirt nature and lush sheer material of the fabric, but the execution makes it look like a 6th grade Home-Ec project. I'm pretty sure my grandmother still owns that exact same floral print from the 60's, and even she wouldn't wear it anymore. The icing on the cake? The shiny mesh fabric used for the top bodice, which makes her look as if she is ready to go ice skating or do gymnastics.

The hair is awkwardly done, considering that it seems as if her hair stylist was bi-polar that day. He probably blow dried the top part wanting to make it wavy, and then changed his mind last minute when adding straight hair extensions in. The extensions are also far too long, creating the mermaid effect where the hair covers the breasts, and does not do much for the dress either. Not much consistency, resulting in utter failure, but complete success in perfecting Halloween hairstyles.

Moral of the story, we all know that you, Lauren, are only famous for your reality show, "The Hills" on MTV, so quit trying to get your fans to take you seriously as a fashion designer. Judging the aptitude of your clothing production and designing, we suggest that you stick to acting.

Leighton Meester Black Dress Bandage Disaster

Something about this dress that Leighton Meester wore to the 2009 MTV Movie Awards screams bandage wrap gone horribly awry. Not only are there random cutouts in inconvenient places- shoulders, armpits- but there is sheer material placed in even more odd places- thighs, abs, buttocks. Not sure exactly who is the mastermind behind this disaster of a red carpet moment, but Leighton looks as if she is about to battle in a straight-to-DVD movie for dominatrixes.

Kardashian Zoo

Oh yea, here is my sister wearing a similar swimsuit. We are trying to maintain the safari theme... you know... keeping it in the family. Please don't stare at us too much, even though we look like we're part of the zoo.